I posted this question in my Kink chat today and immediately giggled because, if I’m being completely honest, my self-care routine probably sucks.
But the more I’ve gotten into counseling and the more we’ve talked about self-care, burnout, boundaries, and pouring from an empty cup this semester, the more I’ve realized just how important it actually is.
Because apparently, somewhere along the way, I forgot that I’m a human being and not a machine.
And then I realized something…
Last week and this week, I’ve been back in the kitchen baking sourdough.
And weirdly enough, whenever I’m baking, my headspace is usually okay.
That makes absolutely no sense to me because I know a lot of people bake when they need something to keep their mind busy. For me, it’s almost the opposite.
Sourdough requires me to slow down enough to have the energy to make it.
It’s not something you can rush. You mix it. You wait. You stretch it. You fold it. You wait some more. You shape it. You let it rest. You bake it.
And somewhere in all of that waiting, my brain gets to breathe.
So maybe that is a form of self-care for me.
I just never thought of it that way.
And honestly? I don’t really know what my self-care routine is right now.
Do I plan on developing one over the next few weeks?
Absolutely.
Because I need one.
And I think I’m going to start simple. Maybe running in the mornings. Getting outside. Moving my body. Drinking more water. Actually eating meals instead of surviving on caffeine and whatever my children didn’t finish.
I have this entire week off work, and while I’ll probably DoorDash later in the week, I also want to use this time to get ahead on homework, write a few blogs, and hopefully record a podcast or two.
Because everything has been sitting on the back burner while I’ve been pouring myself into what I genuinely love the most lately:
Baking.
And maybe that’s the point.
Sometimes self-care isn’t bubble baths, spa days, candles, or disappearing from the world for a weekend.
Sometimes it’s finding something that makes your brain quiet enough that you can breathe.
Sometimes it’s giving yourself enough time to do something you love.
Sometimes it’s getting your ass out of bed and going for a run.
And sometimes it’s simply having enough energy to clean your house, because unfortunately, dishes do not care about your mental health.
Those things are necessities, too. We’re still adults. We still have responsibilities, bills, kids, homework, jobs, and business that needs handling.
But there is a difference between taking care of your responsibilities and taking care of yourself.
I think I’m finally learning that I need both.
Even the little things matter.
A couple of weeks ago, my psychiatrist adjusted my medication, and slowly I’ve been feeling more like myself again. I’m still tired, but I’m noticing that I have enough energy to get up, clean, accomplish things, and actually want to do them.
And that has made me realize how much I’ve been running on empty.
So now I’m trying to figure out what filling my cup actually looks like.
Maybe it’s running.
Maybe it’s baking.
Maybe it’s writing.
Maybe it’s recording that damn podcast I keep saying I’m going to record.
Maybe it’s all of it.
So now I’m curious:
What does your self-care actually look like?
Not what should it look like.
Not the Pinterest version.
Not the “perfect morning routine” version.
What actually helps you feel like you again?
And if you’re in a power-exchange dynamic, how do you balance personal self-care with caring for your Dominant/submissive and maintaining your dynamic?
Because I think there’s a bigger conversation here about learning the difference between care, control, responsibility, and burnout.
Leave a comment